The Thing On Your Head You Call "HAIR"

I'd asked for a "long bob" with the original intention to balance out the uevenness of both sides of my extremely troublesome hair, a mistake committed by the last (auntie) hairdresser I went to and that the faggot at J.Yip gave me a straightened ramrod Cleopatra wig instead.

"Sophisticated and mature." was his evaluation on the fabulous mess he created.

It's amazing how some people have the cheek to say the darnest things! It was almost like re-living my rebonding nightmare 3 years back all over again. Thank god, this time more volume was retained, otherwise I would have commited suicide on my birthday and not lived to be able to watch any R21 movies in the cinemas.

(speaking of which, birthday pics will up up soon!)

After one round of fairly traumatizing salvational work, the Cleopatra wig has turned into a primary school muo gu tou. Thank you very much.

This calls for some serious affirmative action.

WHY. Why do we suffer in silence and subject our helpless selves to the mercy of the metallic tools of these "hairstylists", who charge an arm and leg for snipping away the precious keratin strands we take such pains to grow? How many of them really bother to scrutinize the quality of your hair, face shape, personal sense of S.T.Y.L.E, sit down to discuss patiently with you, THE CUSTOMER (is always right) about the haircut which is the best tradeoff between what you like and what would work for you before mindlessly playing Mindsweeper on your head?

It's been long enough. If I could have it my way, all hairstylists should come with Precautionary Tags:

Name: Mary-Anne
Number of Years in Industry: 5
Ability to comprehend native language: *****
Patience: **
Rebelliousness: ***
Mortality Rate: 38.24%
Speciality: Sleek assymetrical sci-fi bob cuts, a la Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux





Name: Keishi Nerdo San
Number of Years in Industry: 8
Ability to comprehend native language: **
Patience: *****
Rebelliousness: *
Mortality Rate: 47.19%
Speciality: Kawaii Auntie curls



















Name: Edward Scissorhands
Number of Years in Industry: Equivalent to age
Ability to comprehend native language: ****
Patience: *
Rebelliousness: ****
Mortality Rate: 88.53%
Speciality: Anything goes.



Name: Daveed Gun
Number of Years in Industry: 21
Ability to comprehend native language: *
Patience: ***
Rebelliousness: **
Mortality Rate: 17.62%
Speciality: It will be special as long as you can pay $500 per Passion-ate haircut (price exclusive of GST).




Note to self: Do not do anything to hair for the next 6 months. DO NOT!!!